


Feelings

by gooseey



Category: The Good Doctor (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst, F/M, Fluff, I've decided hr doesn't exist, im just trying to get over the s3 finale, soft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:33:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28196232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gooseey/pseuds/gooseey
Summary: In the face of death, Claire and Melendez admit their true feelings for one another. But perhaps death isn't the only outcome for this situation.
Relationships: Claire Browne/Neil Melendez
Comments: 35
Kudos: 37





	1. Worry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my first attempt at TGD fic, you'll notice it just sums up s3 ep 20 with a different outcome
> 
> hope you guys like this - gonna be at least 7 chapters :)

“Just lay down, Neil...” Claire told him softly as she pushed him playfully. He rolled his eyes and led down in the scanner.   
  
“Fine. Just to shut you up and prove that I’m fine!” He laughed and sighed. She left his side and closed the door behind her.   
  
As she sat down at the computer, she switched on the microphone and speakers so they could communicate.   
  
“Why are you so set on getting me to do a CT scan?” Melendez chuckled.   
  
“Stay still... And if you die, I’ll get the blame, that’s the last thing I want.” She smirked as she teased him. She watched him on the screen as he smirked and shook his head.  
  
Within a few minutes, the computer beeped as it started to display the scan results.   
  
“I told you.” Melendez sighed as he looked around inside the scanner.   
  
“What? Be quiet. Be still.” She told him more seriously as she searched the results on the screen.   
  
“The machine is already past the point where you would have seen any damage. The fact that you haven't said anything means you're either trying to figure out how to tell me I'm going to die or you're trying to figure out how to apologize for wasting my time.” Claire tried to ignore what he was saying as she left the office and went back into the scanner room.   
  
“You're right. I'm glad your brain is fine. I'm not sorry at all.” Claire shrugged as Neil sat up and swung his legs off the bed to face her.   
  
“Appreciate the excessive concern. Now I can get out of here and to patients and you can get back to the winery to help.” He said casually, unaware of the mistake he had made.   
  
“Brewery.” Claire frowned softly.   
  
“Oh, come on. I misspoke. Been a bit of a rough day, you hear? There was an earthquake.” Melendez laughed as he tried to shrug it off.   
  
“I've seen you on a lot of rough days, but not once have I seen you confused. Move your gown.” He sighed and moved his gown aside where the bruising was. “You're bleeding internally.”  
  
Melendez frowned as he ran his fingers lightly across the bruising.   
  
“I need to tell Lim. Are you gonna be alright to wait for someone else to take you back to your room?” Claire asked him seriously.    
  
“I can just walk back.” He shrugged to her.   
  
“No. I’m getting a nurse to do it. If I find out that you walked back, I’ll kill you myself.” Claire told him as she left the room and started walking to Doctor Lim’s office.   
  
Neil took that moment to go through all the possibilities in his head. The internal bleeding could be caused by a variety of things and his brain wasn’t working at full capacity right now - all of his thoughts were clouded by the ideas of the worst case scenarios.   
  
“Doctor Melendez?” The nurse repeated, causing him to snap out of his trance.   
  
“Yeah? Oh, sorry.” He mumbled as he spotted Nurse Petringa beside him with a wheel chair. He climbed down from the bed and sat down in the chair.   
  
“Don’t worry, your room isn’t too far. I know you wouldn’t want many people to see you like this.” She smiled softly to him as they made their way to the corridor.   
  
“I’m used to helping people. I don’t like being stuck like this, especially when there’s a crisis.” He sighed as he looked down at his lap. He didn’t want to make eye contact with too many people - he couldn’t stand their fake sympathy.   
  
He was wheeled in to his room where he climbed into bed and pulled the blanket over himself.   
  
“I’m sure Doctor Browne will be back soon.” Nurse Petringa smiled softly to him.  
  
“Thanks, Dina.” Melendez smiled back. She left him alone in his room.   
  
As he stared at the ceiling, he got the growing feeling of terror that this was the end. That this earthquake would be what killed him. Perhaps if he hadn’t have gone to the brewery opening, he’d be fine. It was his day off after all.   
  
He wished that he hadn’t have cancelled his plans with Claire. They were supposed to be going bowling together then going to get takeout after. However, he cancelled to go to the brewery and she ended up signing up to be on call for the night.   
  
He soon realised that other people had entered the room. At the end of his bed was Claire and Doctor Lim.   
  
“Your hematocrits suggest you're still bleeding. Appears to be in the retroperitoneum.” Audrey told him.   
  
“Probably from the pancreas.” He added.   
  
“If we open you up, it means major resections and reconstructions, and you could end up with ostomy or diabetes.” Audrey explained to him as if he was just any other patient.   
  
“I'm well aware of the risks of abdominal surgery.” Neil smirked to her, trying to ignore the dangers that he was well aware of. Audrey ignored him and chose to explain other possibilities.   
  
“The more conservative approach is an angio for embolization to stop the bleed.” She told him.   
  
“Less invasive... Again, aware.” He chuckled. “Do the embolization.”  
  
“In this case, I don't think it's actually safer. If the bleed isn't from the pancreas, we'll have to keep poking around till we find it, and it might be too late.” Claire said nervously, hoping her opinion was of use.   
  
“You want to do the surgery instead?” Audrey frowned softly and turned to Neil.   
  
“Not really. But Claire's right.” Neil sighed softly.   
  
“I’ll call to prep an OR. Claire, you page the anaesthesiologist and get consent forms signed.” Audrey told them both as she left the room.   
  
“I’ll be back in a minute, okay?” Claire smiled to him. He nodded and watched her as she left the room.   
  
Claire pulled out her phone and paged the anaesthesiologist. She got back to the ICU reception and found the paperwork she needed. She returned back to his room and sat down beside his bed.   
  
“I’ve never been worried about a surgery before...” Melendez sighed as he took the paperwork from Claire.   
  
“You’re gonna be absolutely fine, Neil.” She said softly as she reached forward and held his hand. He smiled softly and signed the paperwork.   
  
“With you and Lim doing the surgery? I should say my prayers.” Melendez smirked to her.   
  
“Hey! I might have to just accidentally slip and nick an artery.” She grinned back to him. He smiled widely and squeezed her hand slightly. They both laughed and watched each other until they noticed Audrey approaching the room with the anaesthesiologist.   
  
Claire stood up and stepped away from his bed, letting go of his hand in the process.   
  
“Right, we are taking you down to the OR now. JL is just gonna give you your first dose.” Audrey told him. He nodded and watched as the nurse injected him with a needle.   
  
As soon as the anaesthesiologist finished, she stepped away. They started taking his bed towards the OR. During the whole journey, Neil watched Claire. He paid as much attention to her as possible, fearing he might never see her again.   
  
He was transferred onto the operating table and injected for the second time with the anaesthesia.   
  
“Right, you know what to do, Neil.” Audrey smiled to him.   
  
“10, 9, 8...” He sighed as he felt his whole body feel very relaxed and his eyes feel very heavy. “7...”  
  
He didn’t make it any further. He was out like a light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've realised whilst proof reading this that my grammar isn't very consistent... i referenced the scripts for quite a bit of this chapter but where im british, i spelt things differently when i wrote in my parts :/ i might fix it eventually, don't really know haha
> 
> hope you enjoyed it though xD


	2. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shaun provides hope for Melendez and his blossoming relationship with Claire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your positive comments about the first chapter. I currently have 6/7 chapters written but I’m sure I could write more if you like it so please let me know :)

A few hours later, he could hear the usual bustle of the hospital. He groaned as he lifted his hand to run it through his hair. That made him aware of the cannula in his arm. He opened his eyes and looked up at his vitals screen - he saw that everything was as expected.   
  
He fumbled around beside himself and found his call button. He wanted to know the results of his surgery as soon as possible.   
  
As he waited, he pulled off the covering from his chest to see the incision. He glanced up and saw Claire and Audrey entering his room.   
  
“I think the scar will work with the tattoos.” Melendez chuckled as he patted the adhesive dressing back onto his chest.   
  
“The bleed wasn't from the pancreas. It was from the SMA. But we found additional injuries all the way to the celiac trunk.” Doctor Lim told him. He frowned softly.   
  
“Ischemic bowel?” He questioned.   
  
“Early stages. We have restored full blood flow and reperfused. I'm sure the bowel is gonna be just fine.” Claire said as she tried to reassure him.   
  
“How sure? What's my lactate?” Neil asked as he started to fill with dread.   
  
“Four.” Audrey told him with a gulp.   
  
“Means there's already been some failure of the bowel wall.” Neil sighed.   
  
“We're going to re-test your lactate. And I'm sure it'll have gone down.” Claire told him as she tried to remain optimistic.   
  
“But if it's gone up, it means ischemia is progressing, and there'll be more bacterial leakage. Which in turn will mean septic shock...” Neil explained as he tried to comprehend what he was hearing. “...past the point of treatment.”  
  
“We're not there yet.” Audrey told him with a sigh. “I’ll be back in a bit to test your lactate again.”  
  
He nodded and watched her leave the room. He turned back to Claire once they were alone.   
  
“You need to get back to the ER and help there. Don’t worry about me.”  
  
“How can I not worry about you?”  
  
“I’ll be fine. You need-“  
  
“No... I can’t lose you too.” Claire interrupted him as she held his hand tightly.   
  
“I’m not going anywhere. Now go and see if there’s anything you can do in the ER. Come back in a couple hours. I won’t be going anywhere.” He told her seriously. She hesitated briefly. “Go. That’s an order.”  
  
“Okay. I’ll see you soon.” She nodded softly as she stepped back.   
  
“Of course.” He said as he watched her leave his room and walk down the corridor.   
  
He led motionless in his bed. He was oblivious to the outside world and how fast time was passing.   
  
Hours passed in what felt like minutes. He was snapped from his thought as Doctor Lim entered his room to take a sample for his lactate.   
  
“How you feeling?” She asked as she took his blood sample.  
  
“Like crap. This is the last situation I wanna be in right now.” He told her as he kept staring at the ceiling.   
  
“We’re doing all we can.” She told him. He nodded. “Either Claire or I will be back in a bit with the results. I’ll put a rush on this.” She said before leaving his room.   
  
He returned to staring at the ceiling which made time pass faster than it should. Soon enough, he saw Claire in the doorway from the corner of his eye.   
  
He didn’t turn to face her. He couldn’t bare seeing her so sad.   
  
“The year before med school, I took six months off, backpacked across Southeast Asia. Hostels were three bucks a night.” He chuckled softly. “Beer was cents. And I found this little island in Thailand, Koh Lanta. Nothing but bamboo huts and palm trees. Stayed eight days. Read "Moby Dick." Fell in love.” He smiled softly before asking the question he didn’t want to have answered. “How high?”  
  
“High...” Claire sighed from the door way.   
  
Neil let out a shaky breath as he tried to hold in his tears.   
  
“The place is probably overrun with tourists now.” He said as he closed his eyes.   
  
Claire walked round to the chair again and sat down. She slipped her hand into his and sighed. He looked at her and sighed too.   
  
“I'm not afraid to die. I was raised a good Catholic... altar boy, First Communion... faithfully wore my silver crucifix that Tía Abebe gave me for Confirmation.” Neil said tiredly, as if each word was a battle. “I was a true believer. Then I went to college. And maybe it's just now that I'm... staring into the yawning void, I'm hedging my bet, but... it's coming back to me.” He sighed shakily. “Like an old friend with a warm hug.”  
  
Claire frowned and stared at how their hands were linked together. She was fighting off the tears.   
  
“I want you to know that I-“ She tried to say as a tear rolled down her cheek.   
  
“Don't.” He said as he interrupted her and shook his head. “You should go. This place still has a crisis going on.”  
  
Claire gulped as she let go of his hand and stood up. She watched him and noticed how pale he was. Perhaps this was it, the moment she had been dreading since the discovery during surgery.   
  
“Goodbye, Claire.” He sighed.   
  
“Goodbye.” She said before leaving his side and walking out of his room.   
  
Claire continued walking. All the way to the ER. Shaun had just arrived and was waiting to be checked over.   
  
“Shaun?” Claire said as she walked over to him.   
  
“Are you crying?” Shaun asked her abruptly.   
  
“What? No...” she shook her head as she brushed her fingers over her own cheeks. She hadn’t even realised that multiple tears had dampened her cheeks. She shrugged it off and wiped away the tears. “Come on. Let’s just check that you’re okay.”  
  
Claire took him away from the waiting area and sat him on one of the free beds. She started checking his vitals.   
  
“Crying usually means that something bad has happened. Has something bad happened to you, Claire?” Shaun asked as he watched her.   
  
“It’s Ne- Doctor Melendez. He was badly hurt during the earthquake. He had internal bleeding and now we’ve found problems with his bowel wall. He’s dying, Shaun...” Claire told him as she took his blood pressure.   
  
Shaun frowned softly and stared at the wall as he seemed to go distant.   
  
“Shaun...”  
  
“I need to see Doctor Lim.” Shaun said as he pulled off the pressure cuff and jumped off the bed. Claire ran to chase after him. She struggled to keep up as he was also running - he was much taller than her therefore faster.   
  
“You think you know something that Lim and I don’t?” Claire said once she caught up.   
  
“Do you love Doctor Melendez?” Shaun asked her.   
  
“What? No!” She said as she tried to convince herself of that.   
  
“You have flirted with him in the past. You’re sad that he is dying... and you called him Neil.”  
  
“I can be sad about it. It doesn’t mean that I love him.” Claire said defensively as she stopped walking with Shaun. They were both approached by Doctor Lim.    
  
“I know how to save Doctor Melendez.” Shaun said confidently.   
  
“Right. Murphy, my office. Browne, go and help in the ER. There’s nothing you can do here.” Audrey told her. Claire sighed and turned. She walked back to the ER to try and stay distracted from the fact that the man she loved was currently dying.   
  
She got to the ER and went straight to the consult board to find out who she was treating next. Moments later, she noticed someone stood beside her.   
  
“Morgan? You’re supposed to be recovering.” Claire frowned as she turned to her colleague.   
  
“And we’re in a crisis. You need all the help you can get. What’s the situation?” Morgan asked as she stepped closer to the board.   
  
“I don’t know. I’ve been over in the ICU dealing with Doctor Melendez.” Claire sighed as she shook her head and tried to focus on what she was reading.   
  
“Melendez? What’s wrong with him?” Morgan frowned as she pulled the list away from Claire so she could have her undivided attention.   
  
“Something landed on him when the earthquake struck. He said he was fine so we kept treating patients. As we were getting the patient into the ambulance, he vomited and collapsed. Scans and external bruising showed that he had internal bleeds. Emergency surgery revealed problems with his bowel wall. His lactate is rising and Lim and I can’t figure out how to stop it. Shaun thinks he knows something but Lim told me to help down here instead.” Claire explained to Morgan shakily as she replayed the night’s events in her head.   
  
“He’s on his deathbed, Claire. Oh God...” Morgan frowned softly. “Have you told him?”  
  
“Told him what?” Claire frowned too.   
  
“That you love him.”  
  
“I don’t love him!” Claire laughed softly.   
  
“Oh come on. It’s obvious. Even Shaun asked me if I think you loved him. So he’s noticed too. It must be obvious if Shaun notices!” Morgan told her. “Go back to the ICU and tell him before it’s too late. Otherwise you might regret it for the rest of your life.”  
  
“But you need the help down here.” Claire said as she tried to make excuses.   
  
“Go! We can cope.” Morgan told her. Claire nodded and ran out of the ER. She ran down the corridor and straight into the ICU. She didn’t even stop at the reception, she just went straight to his room.   
  
She arrived at his room to find it empty. His bed was gone. She ran back to reception.   
  
“Where’s Doctor Melendez gone?” She asked as she started to panic.   
  
“Doctor Lim took him into the OR. I believe Doctors Murphy and Andrews are assisting.” The nurse said to her.   
  
Claire didn’t wait around to thank them. She ran straight from the ICU down to the operating rooms. She scanned each screen and saw his name by the door of OR 4.   
  
She walked into the scrub room and tried to put on a calm front. Lim noticed her straight away.   
  
“Claire... no. You can’t be part of this.” Lim said as she stepped away from Neil and towards the window.   
  
“You need the help. Reznick sent me here from the ER. I need to help. Please.” Claire begged.   
  
“You’re too close to this. I can’t let you take part. You need to sit this one out.” Audrey told her sternly.   
  
Claire nodded and gulped as she stepped back. She took a moment to compose herself before leaving the OR. She decided to go upstairs and watch from the gallery. That way she’d know straightaway whether he was going to survive this surgery.   
  
Hours passed and he was eventually taken from the OR to a room back in the ICU. She ran down straight to his room. Doctor Lim was still in there updating his notes when she arrived.   
  
“How is he?” Claire asked nervously as she stepped into the room.   
  
“He’s in a critical state but he’s stable. His blood pressure needs to remain stable. So he will wake up soon but he will be very drowsy, just to try and keep his BP level.”  
  
“Can I stay here? Until he wakes up.” Claire asked.   
  
“You’re working, Claire...”  
  
“I wasn’t meant to be working tonight. I signed up to be on call cos I had nothing else going on. I’ve been told I’m not needed in ER. All non-emergency surgeries have been cancelled. I need to be here when he wakes up. I will do whatever it takes to be here, even scut work. Please... there’s something I really need to tell him when he wakes up.” Claire told her.   
  
“What you’re wanting to tell him... it is professional, right?” Audrey asked as she rose an eyebrow.   
  
“Not completely. But I think he needs to know. Nothing needs to happen. He just needs to know, in case something does go wrong and we lose him.”  
  
Claire watched Audrey as she thought about it.   
  
“Okay. There will be plenty of scut work for you though.” Audrey smirked at her.   
  
“Thank you so much!” Claire said as she jumped forward and hugged Audrey tightly.   
  
“No problem. Just use his call button if anything happens.” Audrey told her before leaving the room.   
  
Claire sighed and walked round to the chair beside his bed. She sat down and watched him for a few moments before turning and looking out the window over the city of San Jose.  
  
She turned back to him and reached out to hold his hand. She relaxed once she had her hand in his and turned back to watch the night lights of the city.   
  
A few hours must have passed before she heard movement coming from the bed.   
  
“Claire?” He mumbled and groaned.   
  
Claire grinned and jumped up to hug him. Then she remembered what Lim said about his blood pressure.   
  
“Neil.” Claire said to him calmly. “Thank you.”   
  
“Why? What for?” He frowned softly.   
  
“Well... for making it through that surgery but also because you saved me.” Claire smiled softly as she sat back down. That’s when he noticed how their hands were linked. He smiled more and stroked her hand with his thumb.   
  
“No. I was just in the right place... at the right time. That was all you. You're gonna be okay, Claire.” He told her quietly.   
  
“And you’re gonna be okay too, Neil. You’re critical but stable.” Claire replied.   
  
“What?” He smiled sleepily which made Claire feel as if her heart was melting.   
  
“You’re gonna be okay. You just need to rest but you’ll make it through this.” Claire smiled widely. He grinned and squeezed her hand gently. “There's something I need to tell you.”  
  
“Me too. I’ll go first. You... are... a terrible bowler.” He chuckled softly. “Maybe the worst I've ever seen.” He shrugged.   
  
“And I wanted to tell you that I hate your tattoo. Way too much antler.” Claire said to him as she leant closer and nodded in the direction of his tattoo.   
  
He smiled widely and managed to laugh briefly. She grinned and sighed softly.   
  
“I love you, Neil.” She said to him quietly.   
  
“I love you, too.” He sighed with a small smirk.  
  
She felt her smile soften as a tear rolled down her cheek.   
  
“I’ve waited so long for that.” She chuckled as she lifted his hand and pressed her lips across his knuckle. He smiled as he let go of her hand and wiped away a tear with his thumb before cupping her cheek.   
  
“I knew you’d be back whether it was before I died or after I went in for lifesaving surgery. You were gonna hear it eventually.” He said with another sleepy smile.   
  
“Thank you.” She smiled more and leant into his touch. “I think you should rest. You need to get as much rest as possible. And I should get back to work before Lim gets annoyed. If you need me, get a nurse to page me and I’ll be here as soon as I can.”  
  
“Okay. That sounds fine with me.” He smiled more. “I love you, Claire.” He said again with confidence.   
  
“I love you too. I’ll be back when I can.” She said as she lifted his hand and kissed it.   
  
She left his bedside and left his room, being sure to draw all the curtains before she left.   
  
As she got back down to the ER, she saw that things had quietened down quite considerably.   
  
“So... did you do it?” Lim asked excitedly as she and Doctor Reznick ran over to her.   
  
“You two are so immature!” Doctor Browne laughed as she tried to avoid the question.   
  
“That doesn’t answer our question. Did you tell him?” Morgan asked her.   
  
“Okay! Yes, I did. But we aren’t talking about it anymore. I’m already branded as an over-sharer.” Claire chuckled.   
  
“Oh come on! We can see you’re in a good mood so he obviously said it back.” Audrey said to her excitedly.   
  
“Did you kiss him?” Morgan grinned cheekily.   
  
“No I didn’t.” Claire said as she shook her head.   
  
“I’m calling bullshit.” Audrey sang as she teased Claire.   
  
“Honestly, I didn’t! You said his BP needed to stay level. And if he is like any other male on this planet, a kiss will get his heart rate and BP on a rise. I didn’t risk it... seriously.” Claire explained to them both.   
  
Both Audrey and Morgan burst out laughing. Claire rolled her eyes playfully and sat down on one of the chairs at the ER desk.  
  
“It’s a fair point, Claire. Only you would think of something like that.” Morgan teased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m always open to feedback so please let me know if there’s anything I should improve :D


	3. Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil is discharged from the hospital and needs looking after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't 100% sure about this chapter but I've decided its just a filler chapter :)

“Right... you’re ready to be discharged. What arrangements have you got at home?” Audrey said as she sat on the edge of his bed.   
  
“I don’t have anything yet. I need to make some phone calls, work something out.” Neil sighed as he watched the nurse pull the cannula from his arm.   
  
“I know one plan that could work. It will probably only be for a week and don’t bite my head off for suggesting it.” Audrey chuckled nervously.   
  
“Go on...” He frowned slightly.   
  
“Claire hasn’t used any of her vacation hours, she needs to get them used up. If I have a chat with her, why don’t you stay with her or get her to stay with you?”  
  
“That’s moving way too fast, Audrey!” Neil chuckled as he sat up.   
  
“I said don’t bite my head off.” She laughed. “At least let me talk to her.”   
  
“Okay. Just don’t make her feel uncomfortable. That’s the last thing I want. Don’t make her feel forced into doing it.” Neil told her seriously.   
  
“I won’t! Just don’t leave yet. I’ll talk to her now. There’s the paperwork you need.”  
  
“I know, I know.” He rolled his eyes as he took the paperwork.   
  
Claire stood at the ICU nurses station as she made notes on her patient. She frowned and looked up when she sensed someone’s presence beside her.   
  
She noticed Audrey’s smirk which meant she was up to something.   
  
“What? What have you done? Or what do you want?” Claire chuckled as she nudged her friend.   
  
They had grown a lot closer since the earthquake. They had a few things in common, including how they both cared for Neil.   
  
“Well... there is a certain doctor being discharged today. That doctor needs looking after because everybody knows he won’t take our advice. There is also another doctor that hasn’t used any of her vacation hours and would probably want to spend some time with the other doctor.” Audrey grinned.   
  
“You’re saying I should use my vacation to look after Neil. Did he say this or is it you?” Claire chuckled nervously.   
  
“It’s me. He emphasised making sure that you didn’t feel forced or feel uncomfortable.” She told Claire. Claire nodded slightly.   
  
“It would be nice to spend some time with him now that we know he’s not gonna die. And not in that way! I know what you’re gonna say.” Claire laughed.   
  
“Go and chat with him. Go on.” Lim said as she nudged Claire.   
  
Claire rolled her eyes and walked towards his room. He was sat up in bed, he’d filled out the paperwork and was now watching the TV. Claire knocked on the door lightly which caught his attention.   
  
“Hey.” Neil smiled as he saw her. He nodded for her to come in.   
  
“Hey to you too.” She smiled as she walked in and sat on the edge of his bed.   
  
“I’m guessing Lim talked to you.” Neil chuckled softly as he watched her sit down.   
  
“Yeah she did. If you want-"  
  
“You don’t have to if you really don’t want to. I know what she’s like... pressuring you and all that.”  
  
“Do you want me to come round? Because that’s ultimately what matters. I want to spend time with you but if you don’t feel the same then I need to know before I make arrangements.” Claire told him seriously. She’d had enough of being messed around by guys - she thought it could be different with Neil.   
  
“Of course I want you to come round. I’ve wanted it to be just me and you for so long.” Neil smiled. “Granted it probably won’t be how you imagined, I’m not very mobile, but I’m just happy to be in your presence.”  
  
“You’re such a smooth talker.” She giggled softly and smiled more. “I’ll book the week off, just finish today’s shift. Then we can go to mine, get some of my stuff and go back to yours.”  
  
“How long have you got left of your shift?” He asked with a small smirk.   
  
“Just over 3 hours. You could watch a movie in that time whilst I work.” She suggested to him.   
  
“I might do. I might take a nap. I haven’t decided yet.” He smiled as he reached forward and held her hand. “Thank you. You didn’t need to do this. I really appreciate it.”  
  
“Anything for the man I love.” She smiled widely as she glanced at their hands then back to him. He lifted her hand and kissed it softly.   
  
“I love you too.” He smiled widely. “I suppose you should get back to work.”  
  
“Yeah. I probably should.” She chuckled softly. “I’ll be back soon.”  
  
“Okay. See you later.” Neil smiled softly as he let go of her hand.   
  
Claire stood up from his bed and smiled to him over her shoulder as she left the room. He smiled widely before turning back to the TV and finding something half interesting to watch.   
  
Claire went straight to Doctor Lim’s office to try and find her. She knocked on the door and went inside.   
  
“So... what’s happening?” Audrey smiled to her excitedly.   
  
“Could you sign me off for a week of vacation?” Claire grinned as she sat down opposite her.   
  
“Of course I can!” Audrey chuckled.   
  
“I didn’t think you’d approve of this. I expected you to find it unprofessional.” Claire said to her nervously.   
  
“Well... there’s a few parts to it. Firstly, you both deserve to be happy. You’ve both been through a lot and you deserve the happiness, if that’s together then so be it. Secondly, I’d be the biggest hypocrite if I didn’t approve of it. And people may say that it puts you in a privileged position for your residency but the final decision of positions are up to me as chief, not my attending surgeons. This doesn’t leave this room, but I’m sure I already know who’s continuing with their residency and who isn’t. You’re one of the best residents we’ve had since I was a resident here.” Audrey grinned. “It’s difficult for some people to see the difference between bias and just preferring the talented residents.”  
  
“Thank you. That means so much.” Claire smiled softly as she felt heat rush to her cheeks.   
  
“No worries. Look, I’m gonna put this vacation through. Go and get your rounds finished.”  
  
“Thanks. I’ll see you later.” Claire grinned before getting up and leaving the office.   
  
She went back to the ICU and finished her rounds before sitting down at the computer at the ICU desk to fill out paperwork.   
  
The rest of her shift passed by slowly, as if time knew that she wanted to get out of there. As soon as she was allowed to clock off, she made her way to Neil’s room.   
  
“Hey. I’m just gonna go get my stuff from my locker then I’ll be straight back.”  
  
“Okay. Don’t rush. I can wait a few more minutes.” He smiled to her softly. She nodded and walked off towards the lockers.   
  
She got changed out of her scrubs into something more comfortable then packed her stuff into her bag. She grabbed her phone to text Neil and ask him something before she left the lockers.   
  
**To Dr. Neil Melendez:** Is there anything you want me to grab from your locker? x  
  
She quickly changed her shoes and put the work pair into her locker before locking it up. She received a text on her phone.   
  
**From Dr. Neil Melendez:** Yes please, could you grab my laptop and it’s charger? They should both be in there. The code is 4579 x  
  
She quickly sent a thumbs up emoji before going over to his locker. She unlocked it, took out his laptop and charger before putting it into her bag. She locked the door back up and left the room to go back to Neil.   
  
She got back to his room and he was sat on the edge of the bed waiting for her.   
  
“Ready to go?” She asked with a wide smile.   
  
“Yep. Think so.” He smiled back to her.   
  
“Are you okay to walk or do you need to hold on to me?” Claire asked worriedly.   
  
“I think I’m okay to walk. I’d love to hold onto you but for our own sakes I’ll try without.” He chuckled softly. She helped him to his feet then let go of him once he was stable.   
  
“Alright?” She asked as she rose an eyebrow slightly.   
  
“All good.” He nodded. He sighed shakily and started walking slowly. They walked together out of the ICU and to the lift.   
  
As soon as they were in the lift, Neil leant against the wall and sighed.   
  
“Nearly there now. I’m not parked too far away.” Claire smiled to him as she reached across and squeezed his hand. He smiled across to her and nodded.   
  
He now understood the pain that all of his patients had gone through during post-op recovery.   
  
They stepped out of the lift together and she guided him towards her car. Neither of them had noticed that they were still holding hands - they were both more invested in getting to the car as soon as possible.   
  
She unlocked the car and opened the passenger side for him.   
  
“There you go. Are you able to get in okay?”  
  
“Yeah. I got it.” Neil mumbled as he focused on getting into the car without causing too much pain.   
  
Claire closed the door behind him then walked round to the driver’s seat. As soon as she was in, she started the engine and reversed out of her parking space.   
  
“So we’re going back to mine first. Just so I can get clothes, chargers, toothbrush and stuff... yeah?” She asked him to check.   
  
“Yeah. Of course.” He smiled to her. She nodded and drove towards her apartment. Within a few minutes, she arrived and parked up.   
  
“I can run up and get it all quickly. Means you don’t need to struggle with the stairs, getting in and out of the car...” Claire explained to Neil.   
  
“Yeah that’s fine, Claire.” Neil chuckled.   
  
“Okay. I’ll be as quick as I can.” Claire smiled before getting out the car and running into the apartment building in front of them.   
  
Neil turned on the radio and watched the world go by outside of the car. People watching was a hobby he enjoyed quite a bit. Guessing information about people that he’d never met and he’d probably never see again. He did it regularly at the hospital, it was the perfect place to do it as there were people from all backgrounds at the hospital.   
  
He was snapped from his thoughts when the back door opened and Claire placed a bag on the back seats.   
  
“All done?” Neil asked as she got into the driver’s seat.   
  
“Yep. Let’s go to your place.” Claire smiled as she started the engine and pulled out of her parking spot and drove in the direction of Neil’s apartment.   
  
“I think we should get take out tonight. Saves having to cook."  
  
“Yeah. Sounds good to me.”  
  
“Is there anything in particular you wanna get?” He said as he turned to her and smiled.   
  
“I’m not sure...” Claire mumbled.   
  
“Are you okay? You seem a bit quiet.” Neil frowned softly.   
  
“Yeah. I’m just nervous about how this is gonna go. I don’t want to screw anything up.” Claire sighed softly. Neil pouted slightly and reached over. He held her hand and stroked it with his thumb which made her relax and smile slightly.   
  
“You’re not going to screw anything up. I promise. Let’s just go with the flow and see what happens.”  
  
“Okay.” Claire nodded as she glanced over to him and smiled more.   
  
He kept stroking her hand softly as she drove over to his apartment. She pulled into the parking lot and parked the car in the closest spot to his apartment.   
  
“Do you need help getting out of the car?” Claire asked as she turned off the engine.   
  
“No thanks. I should be okay.” Neil mumbled as he opened the door and started getting out. Claire got out of the car and walked round to the passenger side to help him if he needed it.   
  
He was able to get out on his own so Claire rushed and grabbed both bags from her car before slowly following him to the front door of his apartment.   
  
He unlocked the door and they both went inside.   
  
“You can just drop the stuff anywhere. We can sort it in a bit.” Neil told her as he sat down on the couch. She nodded and left the bags on the dining table before walking over and sitting beside him. “Claire?”  
  
“Yeah?” She said as she turned to him with a smile.   
  
He leant closer to her and cupped her cheek with his hand. She smiled more and leant into his touch.   
  
“I’ve waited so long to be able to do this. Away from prying eyes at work.” Neil smiled widely as he stroked her cheek with his thumb.   
  
“So have I.” She grinned.   
  
He leant closer and brushed his lips over hers. She smiled and closed the distance between them as their lips locked together.   
  
He relaxed and rested his forehead against hers. He opened his eyes to see her smiling widely.   
  
“I love you, Claire.” Neil smiled back to her.   
  
“And I love you.” Claire said back to him. He kissed her cheek then stroked it with his thumb.   
  
“Do you want to watch a movie?” He asked her.   
  
“Yeah. Go on then.” She smiled back to him, not moving away from him in the slightest. He chuckled softly and kissed her again. She smiled more and kissed him back happily.   
  
“Let’s have a look through Netflix.” He said as he sat back from her. She nodded as she snuggled closer to him and watched him turn on the TV. “How about a Disney movie? I’ve got Disney+.”   
  
“I love Disney! Yes please.” She smiled widely to him.   
  
“Any requests?” He chuckled softly.   
  
“The Lion King? No. Toy Story? No! The Incredibles!” She said excitedly.   
  
“You sure? Or are you going to change your mind again?” Neil laughed at her.   
  
“I’m sure. Let’s go for The Incredibles.” She said to him as she rested her head on his shoulder.   
  
He opened Disney+ and turned on the movie.   
  
He leant down and kissed the top of her head. He sighed into her hair and closed his eyes as he took a moment to appreciate her presence.   
  
“You’re so beautiful. I love you.” He mumbled into her hair. She blushed hard and looked up to him.   
  
“I love you too.” She smiled softly to him.   
  
“Claire. Before we start the movie, is it okay if I watch this led down? I’ll probably end up falling asleep and I don’t wanna hurt my back.” He asked her quietly, as he thought he was being a burden.   
  
“Of course. Do you wanna lay down here or is it easier on your bed?” She asked with a smile. She then realised the mistake she had made. “Not that I wanna just get into bed with you. I meant just so you don’t have to move later... oh God...” she sighed.  
  
“Hey. It’s okay.” He smiled as he stroked her hand which calmed her down. “Let’s go to my bed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this one, like I said it is just a filler chapter. But we do get to see some of the Claire/Audrey friendship which I love from series 4!
> 
> Chapter 4 should be coming soon :)


	4. Interruptions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just as Neil is getting used to Claire’s company, the two of them are interrupted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I’d quickly share that Nicholas Gonzalez like my Melendaire edit on Instagram, it made 2020 worth it!!
> 
> If you wanna check it out, the account is @tenth.badwolf :)

“It makes things easier later if we just go in there now.” He smiled as he sat upright. Claire stood up from the couch as he turned off the TV with the remote. She helped him to his feet and he started slowly walking towards his bedroom. 

Claire grabbed the bags and followed him. As they went into the bedroom, Neil closed the curtains and turned on the light.

“I’m just gonna get changed now. Makes everything easier.” He sighed quietly, not quite loud enough for Claire to hear him. She placed the bags on the bed and started searching through her own, she was looking for her phone charger.  
  
She glanced up for a second to see him wearing grey tracksuit bottoms without a shirt. She felt her breathing hitch for a second. She needed to focus on calming herself down before she could continue so she looked back down at her bag and focused on zipping it up.

She left her bag against the wall and passed his bag back over to him.  
  
“Do you need help sorting that at all?” Claire asked as she watched him pull on a loose fitting tshirt.  


“Nah. It’s only dirty clothes. I’ll sort it another time.” He shrugged as he climbed into bed and pulled the blanket over himself. Claire climbed onto the bed sheepishly and sat so she was leaning against the wall. “You can get changed and cuddle close with me. I’m sure that would be more comfortable.”  
  
“Okay. I’ll get into my pyjamas.” Claire mumbled as she got back off the bed and searched through her bag to find her pyjamas.

“I’ll close my eyes if you like.” Neil said out of nowhere, as if he could sense Claire’s readiness to change.   
  
“It’s okay.” She chuckled as she pulled off her tshirt and pulled on her pyjama top. She glanced over to Neil to see that he wasn’t really looking. He was staring at his phone but only a few times, he chose to look up. She was fine with that, she hadn’t explicitly told him not to look. And it wasn’t like they weren’t going to eventually see each other naked anyway.   


Claire continued changing. She took off her jeans and pulled on a pair of shorts before packing it all away in her bag.   
  
As she turned back to the bed, Neil pulled the blanket back, opening up the space right beside him. She grinned and climbed onto the bed.   
  
He pulled her close and turned on the TV, putting it straight onto Disney+.   


“Am I okay to lay like this?” She asked as she went to rest her head on his chest.   
  
“Sure.” He smiled down to her as she looked up at him. She smiled widely as the smirk grew on his face. 

“What?” She chuckled nervously. He laughed as he dipped his head and kissed her. She giggled as she kissed him happily.   
  
She giggled more as she felt his hand move to her hip. He chuckled as his fingers danced across her skin. She squirmed slightly.   


“That tickles, Neil!” She squealed. 

“Okay. How’s this?” He laughed as he ran his fingers further up her body and brushed the underside of her bra. 

“Um...” Claire mumbled hesitantly.  
  
“Claire, I am so sorry. We don’t need to do anything together if you’re not ready yet. I’m fine with that and I completely understand. We can go at whatever pace you set. I’m so sorry for just assuming.” Neil said as he sat back in a panic.  


“It’s okay, Neil. It’s not your fault. It’s something that I need to work on. But I don’t wanna rush things which might mess things up.” Claire sighed as she avoided his eye contact.  
  
“It’s okay. I understand and I will go at whatever pace you want. Your happiness is what matters most.” Neil told her worriedly - he was concerned that there was more reasoning behind it but he didn’t want to push her. “We can just cuddle and watch the movie. You tell me what you wanna do and we can do it.”  


“Yeah. Let’s watch the movie. I haven’t seen this in ages.” She nodded and snuggled close to him. He wrapped his arm around her and pressed play on the movie. He felt her relax as her head rested against his shoulder.  
  
He reached forward and laced his fingers through hers before pressing a kiss on the top of her head. She glanced up to him and smiled slightly. He could see a sadness in her eyes that concerned him.

“Claire, are you okay?” Neil frowned. 

“Yeah...” Claire nodded with a sigh. “No, I’m not.”  
  
“You can talk to me. You know that.” Neil told her as he stroked her cheek softly. She nodded gently. He could tell from the look in her eyes that she was debating on sharing her thoughts. 

“When my mother died, I used sex as a coping mechanism. I went to a bar every night and went home with the first guy that showed the slightest bit of interest in me. I got into a horrible habit of drinking too much and having trust issues with every person I encountered. It was a stupid thing to do and I regret doing it because it could’ve so easily put my career on the line and been a massive risk to my health. Then there was the whole situation with Kane which really put things into perspective for me. Obviously that night ignited the spark between us so I kinda need to be thankful for that. But since then, I’ve been worried about the fact I’ll get into a relationship and there will be no sexual chemistry because I used sex as a coping mechanism. I worry that my head will associate sex with grieving for my mother and trying to overcome all the issues I had growing up. And that is the last thing I want, especially with you. Because you’re the first guy in a very long time that I have actually felt comfortable with and wanted to commit to. And that’s a big thing for me.”  


“That’s understandable, Claire. I get it. And it doesn’t matter to me whether we take 6 hours to get there or 6 months. Because all that matters to me is your happiness. I love you and I’d wait as long as you’d need to be comfortable if it meant that I could be with you. Seeing you happy makes me happy.”  


“I don’t want you to get fed up with waiting for me. That’s not fair on you.” Claire told him. He sighed and smiled softly.  


“I’d never get fed up with you. I don’t think you realise how much I’ve fallen in love with you since that night in the stairwell. Just being with you like this is enough for me. I love being able to cuddle with you, kiss you, hold you close, keep you warm, protect you... I’d choose you over sex any day.” Neil told her with a slight smirk.  
  
“Are you really sure of that? That’s a bold statement, Neil.” Claire chuckled softly. He smirked more. 

“If it meant I could be with you, then of course. I think you’re underestimating my love for you.” Neil told her with a hint of smug in his voice.  
  
“And I think you’re overestimating how long you can go without getting lucky.” Claire smiled to him. 

“Anything for you!” Neil grinned cheekily, teasing her.  
  
“You know I don’t like big romantic gestures.” She giggled.  


“I know. I can’t help it though.” He laughed as he stroked her cheek lightly and leant down to kiss her. “I’ll try and curb the big romantic gestures and PDA.”  


“Thank you.” She grinned as she leaned into his touch and kissed him.  


He stroked her cheek as he kissed her gently. The kiss was soft yet passionate. His tongue brushed softly across her lip as if it were asking for permission to enter. Her lips separated and their tongues made contact for the first time.  
  
Their tongues danced together and they kissed each other passionately. 

After a few minutes, they broke away from each other to catch their breath. They both smiled to each other, panting crazily.  


“That was nice.” Claire smiled as she rested her forehead against his. He grinned dopily to her.  


“That was very nice.” He chuckled softly. She blushed hard and hid her face from him so he didn’t see. Her head rested back on his shoulder as she started watching the movie again.  


After watching the movie for about 15 minutes, she looked up at him and watched him. He hadn’t noticed for a few seconds but then he looked down at her and saw her watching him. He smiled and kissed her happily.   


“Hey, did you still wanna order takeout? I’m getting hungry.” Neil suggested to her.   


“Sure. Have you got any menus?” Claire asked him.   


“Yeah. They’re in the kitchen. Should be in the top drawer.”  
  
“Okay. I’ll be back in a minute.” She smiled before kissing him and climbing out of bed. She pulled on her jumper for extra warmth before leaving his room and going through to the kitchen. 

  
As she passed the couch they were sat on earlier, she spotted her phone that she’d left there. She grabbed it and kept walking to the kitchen. 

She tapped the screen to see a couple of notifications.   


Missed call x2: Dr. Audrey Lim  
Missed call: Dr. Alex Park  
Voicemail: Dr. Audrey Lim  
Message from Dr. Alex Park: Can you call us as soon as you see this?!  


She panicked and opened her phone, calling Audrey immediately. She waited nervously as it rang.   


“Claire, thank God you’re answering. You need to come back to the hospital.” Audrey said as soon as she answered the phone.   


“I’m on my vacation days now. Seriously?” Claire sighed as she searched through the drawers for the takeout menus.   


“Look... we found something on one of Millie Thompson’s scans. She’s at risk of her appendix rupturing. We need to do emergency surgery.” Audrey explained to her as she walked back to the bedroom. This confused Claire, Lim didn’t need her permission to do the surgery.   


Neil frowned in curiosity as he saw Claire on the phone.   
  
“Okay? Why are you calling me to tell me this? You’re chief of surgery. You don’t need my approval for the surgery.” Claire chuckled. 

“Millie’s parents refuse to consent to the surgery unless you are assisting.”  


“Can’t you persuade them that Park is just as capable to assist.” Claire sighed.   


“That’s a lie though.” Neil whispered just loud enough for Claire to hear with a smirk on his face.   


“Shut up!” She whispered to him and playfully hit him on the arm.   


“We’ve tried. They won’t budge. Can you please come back to assist? She’ll be in a lot of pain and possibly die without this surgery. Once it’s over, none of us will bother you for the whole week.” Audrey told her seriously.   


Claire took a beat to think about it.   


“Okay. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” She sighed. “There better be a cup of coffee waiting for me when I get there.”  


“One sugar, right? I’ll make it myself.” Audrey asked her.   


“Thanks. I’ll see you in a bit.” Claire said.   


“Bye.” Lim said before ending the call.   


“You’re going?” Neil pouted softly to her.   


“One of my patients, she needs emergency surgery but the parents refuse to consent unless I assist. She’ll die without this surgery, Neil.” Claire said as she stood up from the bed and started searching through her bag for the clean scrubs she’d taken from her locker earlier that day.   
  
“You’re just too nice of a person, Doctor Browne.” Neil smiled as he sat up in bed. 

“Well... I try.” She shrugged as she started getting changed into the clean scrubs. She adjusted her hair before pulling on her shoes.   


“Let me know when you’re leaving the hospital, then I’ll order food. Is there anything in particular you want?”  
  
“I like Thai. Can we go for that?” Claire smiled as she packed the essential things into her bag. 

“Of course. I’ll see you later.” He said as she leant down and kissed him. “I love you.”  


“I love you too. See you soon.” She smiled to him.   


“Make sure to take the front door key!” He called after her.   
  
“Got it! Will do!” Claire called back to him. 

She left his apartment and got straight into her car. She drove straight to the hospital.   


Audrey most definitely owed her after this. Even though she knew it was her own politeness and positivity that gave her this reputation and rapport among the patients, meaning that they only ever wanted her to assist - it was quite bitter sweet.   


She parked at the hospital and ran straight inside. She got the lift up to the residents lounge where both Audrey and Alex were going over the procedure for the surgery.  
  
“Claire! Thank you so much for coming in.” Audrey sighed as she walked over and handed a cup of coffee to her. “Hope we didn’t interrupt too much.” Audrey smirked to her. 

“It’s all fine. Happy to help.” Claire smiled to her, ignoring how Audrey was trying to wind her up.   


“Brilliant. So, we know the procedure. Low possibilities of complications. Doctor Browne, you’ll be my first assist. Doctor Park, second assist. Are we ready to go and talk to the family?”  


“Yep. Sounds good to me.” Claire smiled.   


“Same here. Let’s go.” Park responded to Lim.   


All three doctors left the room and walked down the corridor towards the ward that their patient was on. Claire drank some of her coffee, hoping to finish it before they went into the OR.   


All three of them entered the room to see Millie in the bed with her parents stood either side of the bed.   


“Doctor Browne, thank you so much for coming back. Millie is terrified and wants you to do it and be the one to help her. You’ve really made a great impression.” Millie’s mother said to Claire.   


“That’s okay. I’m happy to help keep people safe and healthy.” Claire chuckled.   
  
“Really, it means a lot. Doctor Lim explained how you’d finished your shift and were supposed to be on vacation for a week. So it means the world that you came back to help.”

“My vacation doesn’t really start till tomorrow. So I’m all yours till midnight. You’ve got me for four and a half more hours.” She grinned to them. “Shall we get you ready then, Millie?”  


The little girl nodded softly so Park started preparing her. JL came in to begin the anaesthetic procedure.   


“So it’s a simple procedure, we will be going in using laparoscopy meaning that there will be four small incisions so we aren’t opening Millie up completely. Then we will perform the appendicectomy which is the removal of the appendix. We will close her up and she can begin recovery. She can then probably be discharged tomorrow evening, providing everything goes as expected. Not that we are expecting any complications.” Audrey explained to them.  
  
“Any questions?” Claire smiled to the parents. 

“No. I don’t think so.” Millie’s father said as he shook his head.  


“Brilliant. Let’s get going then. One of the nurses will be in shortly to bring Millie down to the OR.” Audrey smiled to the parents before leaving the room. Claire and Park followed her down to the OR corridor.  


Claire gulped down the rest of her coffee before pulling out her phone. She smiled when she saw that she had a text from Doctor Melendez.  


From Dr. Neil Melendez : I’ve realised how cold the bed is without you xx  


She smiled widely as she read it and started typing out a reply.  


To Dr. Neil Melendez : I’ll be back soon. Then I’ll be there to warm you up again xx  


She sent the message and jumped when she realised Park had approached from behind. She tucked her phone away into her pocket and smiled to herself as she started scrubbing in for the surgery.   
  
She went through to the OR and the surgery was started. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you are all enjoying the story so far :)


End file.
